


Bleach, Old Spice, and Juicy Fruit

by miss_vero



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Prom, Reader-Insert, i'm not sure what else to tag this as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2018-02-08 14:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1943847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_vero/pseuds/miss_vero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If only you were a star. Not because they're bright and shining, but stars don't have to worry about surviving one more year of high school and college and future plans and disappointing anyone with their choices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bleach, Old Spice, and Juicy Fruit

**Author's Note:**

> You went to prom; cliché prom night shenanigans ensued.

**To: [First] [Last]  
** From : Marco Bodt  
 _**We're here (:** _

**To: Marco Bodt  
** From : [First] [Last]  
 _**Alright. Be down in a minute** _

**To: [First] [Last]  
** From : Marco Bodt  
 _**Okay** _

And so it began.

You didn't get up from the bed immediately. Your eyes blankly bore into space, your shoulders sagged as if a great weight had been placed on them, and you drew in a deep, cleansing breath through your nose. Crap, you were just so not ready for this. Not at all. You held it in for about five seconds then you let it out through your mouth, nodded once for yourself before heading out of your bedroom.

After making it down the steps without tripping over your not-quite-broken-in heels, you threw open the front door. What you saw made you lean against the doorjamb and cross your arms, smirking at your best friend and his snarky boyfriend. “Bodt, Kirschtein,” you said, flicking your eyebrows teasingly. “Wow, you boys are looking _smoking_ hot in those tuxes.” Your hands flew to your chest. “I think I might be relapsing into the crushes I had on you back in middle school.”

Shut the hell up, [Last],” Jean snapped, a satisfyingly light blush tainting his cheeks.

Marco's beautifully freckled face broke out into his signature smile. “Thank you, [First],” he said, pulling you in for a hug. When he pulled away, he was still beaming. “ _Y_ _ou_ look _amazing_ in that dress.”

It was your turn to blush. “Awe, thanks, Marco, but … ” You trailed off to look down at the frock thoughtfully. The color complimented your skin tone. The skirt stopped just above your knees to accommodate for the heat that was sure to come with a hundred or so teenagers stuffed into one room. And best of all, you were able to snag it at a bargain price a few weeks prior. This wasn't your dream dress, but it got the job done. You shrugged then looked back up at the boy. “This is nothing special. It's only my junior prom after all. I'll go all out next year.”

Jean flicked your temple and glared you down. “I don't know if you remember this fact, [Last], but we won't be here next year.”

It took every bit of strength in your body not to grimace at Jean's statement. You definitely did remember that fact. Lately, all you could think about was next year. Instead of scowling though, you grinned a honey-drenched grin. “There you go; all the more reason to celebrate. _You_ won't be in town.”

He pretended to laugh. ”Hardy har har, [First], you're hilarious. But you know you're going to miss us.”

Feeling a bit dramatic, you clasped your hands together and held them close to your cheek, and even made your lower lip quiver. “Yeah, you're right. I will miss everyone. But at least when I'm missing you I still have the plush horse you gave me for my birthday years ago.” You then tried to replicate his famous shit-eating grin. “It does bare an eerie resemblance to you after all.”

His amber eyes narrowed. “Remind me to kick Jaeger's ass for coming up with that stupid fucking nickname in elementary school,” he growled.

“Again?” Marco sighed.

“Yes.”

The dark-haired boy sighed a second time. “Alright, I'll make a mental note, but we need to go.” He gestured over his shoulder to his car parked in the driveway. “The reservation we have is for six-thirty, it's already six, and the restaurant is all the way across town. Can we please go now?”

A temporary truce was made as you agreed to pile into the car. That ended five seconds later when you called shotgun. And so he couldn't steal it, you were sure to make a run for it as you stated your claim, but the door was locked. Marco, being the gentleman that he was, opened it for you and you slid in, flashing Jean that grin again. The entire ride to the restaurant he sat in the back complaining how it was _his_ boyfriend's car so _he_ should be sitting up front, not _you_. Your freckled neighbor and yourself just chuckled at his expense. Much to Jean's chagrin, you three were the first to arrive. However, he cheered up when he realized that meant he got dibs on any seat he wanted at the table. Since you and Marco made it clear you didn't give a rat's ass where you sat, you followed him around the piece of furniture until he chose his spot. You almost took a seat between them before stopping yourself. Oh yeah, they were an item now. You couldn't, or rather you shouldn't, do that anymore. It was one thing in the car, but this was completely different. Prom was technically a date even if all of your friends were going to be there, too.

“Stop standing around and sit your ass down already,” Jean whined.

“Right. Sorry. Spaced out for half a sec.” You quickly took the spot on Marco's other side and nervously twiddled your thumbs. “Are you guys excited for tonight?” you asked to distract from your sudden awkwardness.

Jean rolled his eyes at the question. “Why? It's just prom.”

“It's our senior prom, Jean,” Marco chuckled, to which his boyfriend just shrugged. He rolled his eyes, too, then smiled at you again. “Well, _I'm_ excited. What about you, [First]?”

Your shoulders rose and fell as well. “Yeah, I'm excited. The last time I got to dress up this fancy was three years ago for my eighth grade formal.” You smiled at the fond memory. You were thirteen with your first boyfriend – Millius Zermusky – and nary a worry in the world other than being able to hang out with friends. Things seemed so simple back then. Ignorance truly was bliss. “The only thing I'm not looking forward to is my feet hurting afterwards from all the dancing in these godforsaken high heels. Dudes are lucky that you don't have to wear these.”

“I'll be sure to dance with you,” he offered then immediately elbowed Jean.

Jean shot him a glare, rubbing the spot on his chest that got hit, but conceded. “Yeah, uh, me too. I'll dance with you, I guess.”

You laughed at your friends' kindness, despite the reluctance from one of them. “Thanks, but no thanks, you guys. That's very sweet of you, but you should be dancing with each other, not me.”

“This might be too much for your little brain to handle, but just in case you didn't know, you're allowed to dance with people other than your date, [First],” the boy with the two-toned hair grumbled. “As long as you don't try something like twerking or grinding on me, I'm totally cool with dancing with you. And it's not like you have a date to dance with anyway.”

Marco reached over and hit him in the chest again. “ _Jean_.”

“ _What_?” he hissed. “It's true.”

You stuck your tongue out. “For your information, I'm dateless by choice.”

He side-eyed you. “Sure. Whatever you say.”

Simultaneously, two right hands shot out and smacked him. “ _Ow_. What the hell, you guys?”

“Shut up,” you both said in unison.

Slowly but surely, the rest of your friends trickled in to fill in the empty chairs. In less than half an hour, the table was full with thirteen teenagers. Though you weren't surprised by some our their wardrobe choices -- Ymir's tux, Connie's top hat, Sasha's Converses – what did manage to catch you off guard was who sat next to you. It was Eren Jaeger. There was nothing wrong with him, you just weren't especially close with the boy. Why, you weren't one hundred percent sure. He was nice, funny, kind of loud at times, but so was Jean and most of the other guys in your circle of friends. And it wasn't as if you avoided talking to him, but you've never been in a room alone with him, not once, in all the years you've known him. You pouted. He was heading off to college in the fall so it was too late to fix that. What was the wedge stuck between you two? Did he notice it?

A hand in front of your face pulled you from your reverie. “Earth to [First]. Anybody there?”

You blinked and shook your head to focus, praying your cheeks were not expose your embarrassment. “Oh, Eren. Sorry if I was staring. Spaced out there for a second.”

“That's been happening a lot,” Jean drawled from somewhere behind you.

Eren flipped him the bird. “Shut the fuck up, Kirschtein. I was talking to [First], not you. This was an _A_ and _B_ conversation. _C_ your way out of it.”

“Hey--”

“Is for horses,” he finished. “Though you already knew about that, didn't you, horseface?”

Jean stood up. “That reminds me. I need to kick your ass.”

Eren stood up, too. “Bring it, pony boy.”

Connie chanted _fight, fight, fight_. Sasha banged her fists on the table in rhythm. Ymir was placing a bet with Reiner about who'd win this one while Christa admonished them. Bertholdt was visibly sweating. Annie was rolling her eyes, bored. Armin and Marco were rubbing their temples and mumbling under their breaths _not again, you guys_. A waiter was about to approach the party of thirteen, but once he saw what was going on, he scurried off to come back later. Wise choice on his part. You were contemplating who it was possible that Eren was better friends with _Jean_ than you when they were always going at it like this. _How_?

Mikasa, at last, stood up, her chair leg scraping against the wooden floor. “Boys, sit down,” she ordered. “ _Now_.”

They obeyed like the obedient puppies they were. “Yes, ma'am.”

The rest of the table broke out into laughter, further damaging their already bruised egos.

Yeah, it was going to be a long night.

***

“Hey, I'm going out back.”

It was one o'clock in the morning, you left prom a little over an hour ago to crash at Mikasa and Eren's house, and at the moment you were feeling, more or less, overwhelmed. Dinner and dancing for three hours straight could only keep your mind off the inevitable future for so long. There wasn't much to do with Eren constantly fretting over the littlest messes anyone made. And though the impromptu arm-wrestling tournament was entertaining, your worries were putting you on edge. It would be smart to take a moment to collect yourself before anyone picked up on your stress.

Sasha, who had been sitting upside down on the couch with her feet hanging over the back, whirled around so she was sitting straight. “Oh, I'll come with you, [First],” she offered with a wide smile.

You held up your hands. “No, no. You stay here. I'll be back in, like, five minutes.”

“But--”

There was only one way to distract this girl. “Promise to save me some chips for when I get back?”

Her brown oculars widened then snapped to the three colorful bowls of snacks on the coffee table. “Okay! I'll try.” But you knew all too well she couldn't resist nibbling on them. And when Sasha nibbled, it turned into her devouring everything in sight. Which gave you about twenty minutes until she'll remember anything you just said and come looking for you. The brunette inched closer to the food and when you heard the first muffled _crunch_ , you silently slipped out the sliding door.

“Finally,” you mumbled. “Some peace and quiet.”

The night air was cool on your exposed skin, conjuring up goosebumps everywhere and sending a shiver down your spine. Damn the short dress. You instinctively wrapped your arms around yourself as you walked towards the edge of the small porch, leaning your arms on the wooden rails. Then you took a peak up at the sky, clear and dark, dotted with stars you wish you knew the names to. Huh. If only you were a star. Not because they're bright and shining, but stars don't have to worry about surviving one more year of high school and college and future plans and disappointing anyone with their choices.

Feeling stupid for that last train of thought, you clapped your hands over your face and moaned. “My God, what am I going to do?”

“[First]?”

“Holy shit--” You froze on the spot, your heart seizing and the rest of your body tensing. It just had to be him, didn't it? It just had to be. “Oh.” You lifted one hand to wave. “Eren. Hey.”

The brunette boy had stopped just beyond the sliding door, his brow furrowed. He looked just as startled to see you as you were to see him. “Goddamn, [First], you nearly gave me a heart attack, standing in the shadows like that.” He narrowed his eyes playfully. “Were you planning to scare me?”

You forced out a sheepish laugh. “No. Sorry. My bad.”

He waved his hand dismissively. “Nah, it's okay. After a second, my eyes adjusted and I saw it was you. But … what are you doing out here alone anyway? I didn't even realize you'd left the living room.” Even in the dark, you could see the concern painted on your friend's face. “[First], is everything okay?”

No. Everything was not okay. Everything was about to change tremendously. Everything was so far from okay. However, not wanting to sound whiny or doleful tonight of all nights, you put on your best attempt at a smile and shrugged. “It was getting kind of hot in there, that's all. I just needed some fresh air to cool off. I was about to head back in the house in a minute.” You paused before posing your own question. “What are _you_ doing out here?”

He raked the fingers of his right hand through his already unkempt hair. “Er, basically the same reason as you. It was hot and … stuff …”

You got the distinct feeling he was lying, but said nothing about it. “Oh … okay.”

His hand dropped. “I needed a quick breather, so yeah …” He vaguely gestured to the empty space next to you at the edge of the porch. “Mind if I breathe next to you, [First]?”

The smile was genuine this time. “Go right on ahead, Jaeger. I can't tell you where to breath. It is _your_ house.”

He half-smiled back. “Thanks.” And so Eren slowly ambled over, kicking his feet up unnecessarily high with each step until he was next to you, close enough to feel his body heat radiating off him. This wasn't awkward at all. No siree. He stuck his hands in his pockets, looking anywhere, at anything but you before clearing his throat loudly. “Uh … nice night, isn't it, [First]?”

You wanted to cringe. This was almost as bad as talking about the weather. Your eyes flickered up to the sky, taking in the stars and the crescent moon. You wanted to be a star again. Stars weren't awkward around friends for no real reason. “Yeah,” you replied lamely. “I guess.”

He cleared his throat again. “Did you, um, have fun? At prom, that is?”

You nodded. “I did. I had a lot of fun tonight.”

His head bobbed as he nodded. “Good, good. I'm glad.”

Another genuine grin adorned your lips as you nudged his hip with yours. “Thanks again, by the way. You really saved my ass back there.”

“You don't have to thank me. It was nothing.” The boy still refused to make eye contact with you, though you saw that he was scowling. “That dude hitting on you was such a fucking creep. I had to do _something_.”

Not knowing what else to do, you fixed your gaze on your feet and concentrated on your toes peeking through the front. “Then I guess I should also be thanking you for not punching the guy in the face, huh?”

Eren made a disgusted sound at the back of his throat. “He would've fucking deserved it, that asshole. You told him that you weren't interested in dancing more than enough times, but he kept bugging you and following you around and not taking the hint and that was seriously pissing me the fuck off. Like, what, he didn't understand that that _no_ meant _no_? I'm just glad I scared him off otherwise I _would have_ punched him in the face. Multiple times. And then I would've been even more pissed off if I'd gotten thrown out of prom for punching a douche. I'd never hear the end of it from Levi or Mikasa.”

Okay, real talk; Eren did not scare the guy off.

It was Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie, affectionately known as the walking brick, the human tower, and the ice queen amongst your close-knit group of friends. Seeing the commotion, the three of them came over to investigate and at the sight of their approach, the boy that had been pestering you bolted. You weren't trying to say Eren couldn't be intimidating, he just wasn't nearly as intimidating as he thought himself. Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie, being generous and just plain sweethearts, decided not to spoil things for him and let Eren have his moment of pride and triumph. Then your so-called savior took it upon himself to become your personal bodyguard for the rest of the night, never being more than ten feet away. Because of this arrangement, you ended up dancing with him more than you initially planned to -- which wasn't at all to be perfectly honest. Not that you minded. It was nice dancing with Eren. And by the end of the night, you found that you were slightly disappointed you didn't get the chance to slow dance with him. The idea of his hands resting on the small of your back, his eyes focused on nothing but you, and then, hopefully, just at the right moment, he'd tilt his head, lean down, and…

Suddenly flustered and blushing, you coughed into your fist and crossed your arms. “Well, um, thanks _again_. I appreciate what you did for me.”

He shrugged. “Like I already said, it was nothing.”

Laughter from the inside of the house made you both look up. From this spot, you had the perfect view of Armin sitting on the couch with Mikasa comfortably in his lap, an arm haphazardly wrapped around her waist and his chin resting on her shoulder. Admittedly, the endearing display made your heart ache with envy. When was the last time someone held you like that, if ever? “Did you _ever_ think Mikasa and Armin would've ended up together?” you asked out of the blue, propping your chin in your palm.

Eren snorted beside you. “Hell no.”

That came as a surprise. “ _Really_? Not once?”

He held up his hands. “Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them. The two people I care for most in a stable and happy relationship; what more could I ask for? I just never saw it coming. Not until Armin told me how he wanted to ask her out on Valentine's Day a few months ago. At first it didn't make sense to me, but he's my best friend and you can't say no to that guy without feeling like shit about it later. Of course I was going to help him out. And then it turned out she likes him back. My mind was seriously blown. I was _so_ confused because they're just _so_ different and, fuck, how did I never see it coming, y'know?”

“They do have one thing in common,” you pointed out.

He cocked an eyebrow. “And what's that? They're both smarter than me?”

You made a face at the taller boy and poked his side. “No. They care for you just as much as you care for them, idiot.”

He crossed his arms, cheeks red. “Well, yeah, there's that.”

“But I guess you're right about the first thing, too; they _are_ smarter than you,” you teased.

Eren rolled his eyes and pushed you away in jest. “Shut up, [First].”

You laughed and pushed him back before your eyes flickered inside or a brief moment then back to him. “What do you think about them being together _now_?”

“Now?” he repeated, his bottom lip jutting out slightly. “Well … now I think I couldn't imagine a better match than those two.” Eren stared intently at his friends, a small grin playing at the corners of his mouth. “It's the stuff that make them different that makes their relationship work, y'know?” But then he was pouting. “But I feel kind of like a third wheel when I hang out with them sometimes.”

That was something you could empathize with. When Marco and Jean first started dating, you certainly felt out of place. Hell, you still felt like the odd man out. “That sucks.”

He cocked his head in their direction. “The problem is I think _they think_ I feel left out. Armin and Mikasa are always trying to make sure I feel included whenever they go out together. I have no problem with them having time to themselves. We're still a trio, we're not going to stop being a trio because two of the people in the trio are dating. I wish they'd realize that.”

“Have you said anything to them?” you suggested because maybe _you_ should've done that.

Eren sighed. “No. As much as I want to tell the two smartest people I know that their plan to make me feel included is having the opposite effect, their intentions are good, so I'm hoping they'll realize it on their own. And soon,” he added bitterly.

“It's been three months,” you deadpanned. “Say something already.”

“Nah, I'll give them 'til the end of summer.”

Exasperated, you let it go. Why were you so surprised? He rarely listened to Mikasa, who was practically his sister, so why would he listen to you? “Fine. Do whatever you want, dumbass.”

“I will,” he sniffed.

In spite of his stubbornness, this conversation needed to keep going. Talking to him helped quell the anxiety that had been festering inside you for quite some time. “So …” you began, drawing out the word. “Graduation's in two weeks, huh?”

He sighed heavily. “I know.”

“Pumped?”

“Oh yeah,” he said, looking away again. “I'm pumped. So fucking pumped to leave this shithole town.”

You leaned back against the railing and held up your hands, palms out. “Wow, Eren, like, at least try to contain your excitement,” you drawled sardonically. “No, seriously, you need to tone it down and chill out, dude.” Your hands dropped and clasped over your lap. “Don't tell me your getting all nostalgic and feelsy with the day coming up so soon?”

The green-eyed boy groaned. “No, that's not it at all.”

It took you a second to ask. You weren't sure if you should. “Then what is it?”

“I don't know. It's just that…” Eren trailed off and stuck his hands in his pockets again, glaring at the floor.

Normally, you'd leave such an obviously touchy subject alone because, as aforementioned, you and Eren weren't all that close, but you were still friends. And he obviously needed a friend in that moment. Your hand extended to rest gingerly on his shoulder. “It's just what, Eren?”

He groaned again, his hands balling into fists in his pockets. “It's just …” He trailed off a second time, looking frustrated, face set in a scowl.

You waited patiently for him to continue. “Yeah?”

Eren spun around and pointed inside. “Look at all of our friends, [First]. The one's graduating with me. Look at what they've done. Armin's valedictorian. Jean's senior class president. Marco can play every instrument known to man. Reiner was captain of the football team. Annie was captain of the volleyball _and_ girl's soccer teams. Mikasa's perfect at fucking _everything_ she does. Ymir's … _Ymir_. They all had stuff they were good at, that they were _great_ at. But me … what the hell was I good at? I'm not smart. I'm not athletic. I'm not the best with people. The only good thing anyone ever said about me was that I was determined and passionate. In other words, I'll work my ass off to try to be the best, but won't ever actually be the best. Awesome, right?” Eren threw his hands up. “If that's all I have going for me, I might as well get a job stacking boxes at the goddamn supermarket. Fuck going to college! What's the point, right?”

“Do you not want to go to college?” you asked timidly.

“Of course I want to go to fucking college,” he snapped, pulling away from your touch. “It's what my mom would've wanted. I just don't know what the hell I'm going to _do_ in college.”

“I'm--I'm sorry,” you stammered. “I didn't mean to--”

He picked at the cracks in the wood with the tip of his shoe. “That's really why I came out here. Because Christa asked about next year and our majors and so they're all going on and on about the classes they're required to take and I'm sitting in the corner with my fucking _Undecided_ feeling like a loser.” A growl crept up his throat and his hands were fists again, nails digging into palms. “They're all ready for the future. I used to think I was, too, but, hell, I was wrong. I was so wrong. I am scared shitless by the future, [First]. I am fucking terrified because I have no clue what to do with mine. ”

Stop. You wanted to tell him to stop, to shut up, because this was the exact opposite of what you wanted to talk about, but you words got caught in your throat. Stop, stop, stop.

He finally mustered up the courage to look you in the eye again, and the expression on his face was excruciating. In the mixture of helplessness and defeat and loss, it was hard to miss the tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. Your heart cracked in two as his voice cracked, too. “I just don't want to disappoint my mom, y'know? I really don't want to let her down, or Levi, or Armin, or Mikasa, or _anyone_. Everyone has such high hopes for me, and I don't even fucking know why because I'm not worth a damn because I'm no good at anything.”

There was a long, tense silence when neither of you said a word. The only noise between you was the slight breeze brushing through the area, making the tree branches sway and the the grass rustle and blowing loose hairs into your faces. Eren continued to stare down at you with that expression of hopelessness and your expression matched his. You knew this was the point in time when the friend who was supposed to be comforting the other friend should've been saying something comforting, but what were you supposed to say when you'd been going through the exact same thing? What the hell were you supposed to say?

That was when the first tear slid down his cheek.

“E-Eren?” you whispered because, holy shit, was Eren Jaeger _crying_?

“Dammit,” he mumbled harshly, scrubbing at his face, but it was no use. One, two, several followed that first tear, staining his shirt sleeve, his cheeks all but glowing a soft magenta in the dark. “ _Dammit_.”

If you thought you were lost before, at this point you had no hope of ever finding your way back because Eren simply didn't cry. He was the guy who was angry at the world for all the shit he'd been through. He didn't wallow in misery, he fought back. You'd only seen him cry once before and that was eight years ago when he mother died. Even then, he looked beyond pissed because he blamed himself for the whole thing. Not to mention he was _ten years old_! But now he was eighteen and not even an hour ago he was smiling that big goofy smile of his while clumsily stepping on yours toes at prom. How did he go from that to this in a matter of minutes?

That was he he failed to suppress a gasping sob.

Totally panicking, you took a step away from him. “I'm going to get Armin. O-or maybe Mikasa--”

“ _No_!” Eren's hands shot out at lightning speed to grip your shoulders and halt your retreat. “They can't know about this. Please, _please_ , don't go inside to get them. Please, [First].”

Wow, he was shaking. Or maybe that was you? “But I don't know what I should--”

His grip tightened in his desperation. “[First], I'm begging you, _please_ , don't go.”

Without many other options, you threw your arms around him and squeezed. You closed your eyes and squeezed. You buried your face in his collar and squeezed. All you could do was keep squeezing him and hugging him and embracing him, hoping to rid the boy of these destructive emotions. Or maybe holding him this tightly, you could at least soak them up through osmosis and feel shitty for him. God, anything to stop him from hurting. As soon as Eren realized what you were doing, he began to repeatedly clutch at your shoulders like you were his only lifeline. He shuddered against your body as another sob escaped and he hid his face in your neck. You rose on your toes to get a better hold of him, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt. And you even allowed a few tears to leak from your eyes, thanking the lord above you wore waterproof make-up. Though you didn't shed many tears because this was about him, not you. But, damn, did you need this breakdown just as much as he did. Oddly enough, comforting him was comforting you a little.

Very abruptly, Eren yanked himself away. “Ah, shit, I'm--I'm sorry, [First]. I didn't mean to unload all of my shit on you like that. Especially tonight. Fucking prom night.” He clapped his hands over his face and his shoulders drooped. “Fuck, man. I'll just--I'll just leave now to save you from hearing more.”

“No.” You caught him by the back of his shirt. “Hey, it's cool. I don't mind. Stay.”

“No, that was shitty of me.” His hands fell to his sides. “You probably came out here because you wanted to be alone then I came and fucked that up.” He looked at you over his shoulder. “I'm really fucking sorry. I'll head in and leave you alone.”

You were desperate. He couldn't leave. “Eren, if you go inside, they'll know you were crying with one look.”

“Crap, you're right.” The boy spun around and made his way to the corner of the porch. He then proceeded to pull himself up and onto the railing, planting his butt on the wood, hooking his right arm around the support beam, using his free arm to wipe his eyes some more. “We're not in the gym anymore,” he mumbled eventually. “This doesn't count as me crying at prom, got it?”

You couldn't agree more. You certainly didn't want to become a prom cliche. “Got it.” Figuring you might as well join him, you slipped off your shoes -- why hadn't you done that sooner? -- and climbed up on the other side of the beam, making sure the skirt of the dress didn't come up too high on the thigh as you did so. As soon as that was situated, you looped your left arm just under his and leaned against the pole. You still wanted to say something, but you still weren't sure what you should say. Better yet, what would Marco say? He was great with these types of things. You concentrating so hard, you hadn't noticed Eren staring.

“[First], were you crying, too?” he asked.

A curse slipped past your lips as you turned your head from him. “Shut up. It's nothing.”

He kicked your ankle. “Like hell it's nothing. Why were you crying?” Eren demanded.

“It really is nothing, Eren.”

“Spill or I'll get Marco.”

“And risk having Armin and Mikasa, or best of all, _Jean_ , see that you cried? You won't go inside. Now drop it, Jaeger.” But the look on his face said he was far from dropping it. A loud breath escaped. “ _Fine_. If it'll get you off my back.” Now was as good a time as any to tell the truth, you supposed. “Would it … sound _weird_ if I said that I was glad you were freaking out?”

That wasn't the answer he was anticipating. His eyes fluttered for a moment. “Actually, yeah, it would.” A crooked attempt at a grin quirked on his lips. “Enjoying my misery, [First]?” You gave him a _shut up_ look. He let out a sort of snort. “Then what makes you so happy that I'm crying my eyes out in front of you?”

“I'm not happy,” you corrected. “I'm … relieved to know I'm not the only one on the verge having a mental breakdown over next year.”

Eren in leaned closer to glower at you. “You're kidding me, right? _You're_ not the one heading off to college at the end of the summer.”

“There'll only be five of us left next year, dumbass. Christa, Connie, Sasha, Bertholdt, and me. The rest of you guys will be gone.” Except Ymir, who said she was going to take a year off because school sucked, but everyone knew the real reason behind that decision. “It won't be the same around here without you.” A furious blush colored your cheeks because he was really close to you right now and your next words came out stuttered. “I-I don't mean _you_ specifically. I meant _you_ , the collective. Y'know, you, Jean, Marco, Mikasa, Armin, Reiner--”

He cut you off with a chuckle. “I know, [First].”

“Right. Sorry.” You distractedly brushed some stray hair out of your face. “What was I saying again?”

“You were talking about how you're freaking about college a year too soon,” the boy said flatly.

Your sympathy was starting to dwindle at a rapid pace. “When's the _proper_ time to worry about college, huh, Eren?” It was your turn to get in his face. “Better yet, tell me when the hell the anxiety hit you. Last week? This morning? An hour ago while we were dancing?”

His face broke out into a sour pout. “Touche.” Then there was a finger an inch away from your nose. “But at least you're better off than me.”

“ _How_ am I better off?”

“You have a _entire fucking year_ to figure things out,” he said like it was obvious.

“You seriously think a year is enough time?” you shot back.

“It sure as hell beats two months!”

“Why can't we just be equally screwed?”

“Because you've got stuff you were good at. What about those clubs you're in? You've got that to fall back on.”

You stabbed at his chest with your index finger, hoping it hurt. “I do extracurriculars, _not_ because I'm passionate about any of them, but so my college application will look good. None of that shit is the thing I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I also don't know if I _really_ want to go to college or if I don't want to get stuck with the stigma of the people who don't; lazy, pathetic nobodies who end up as nothing more than fastfood workers.” You sucked in a shaky breath. Crap, there were definitely tears building up along your lashes. “I've got people to let down, too, y'know. You don't get to invalidate my anxiety just because my circumstances are different than yours.”

He tried to cut in. “I wasn't trying to invalidate--”

You didn't let him finish. “Yes, you were. _Yes, you were!_ You were trying to say I couldn't feel as shitty as you because I have more time. You have no right to do that! Everyone freaks out about college, you jackass, but apparently we're the only morons who can't keep themselves together without crying like babies.”

Eren was failing at his attempt to apologize, his face red and looking rightfully guilty. “Ah, shit, I-I didn't mean to--I wasn't trying to--p-please, don't cry--you were right, I was--I'm--I'm sorry, [First]--”

The nonsensical mess made you laugh through your tears. He could go from asshole to dork in two seconds flat. “Apology accepted, Jaeger.” You began to carefully wipe your face.

His relief rolled off him in waves. “Oh God, thank you. And sorry again.”

You shook your head. “ _I'm_ sorry for going off on you. My frustration isn't with you, it's with myself. Thoughts of next year get me worked up.”

He tossed his hands up. “Same here, man. It's not like I haven't thought about talking to Mikasa or Armin about all this, but they're so happy right now. I didn't want to bum them out with my problems.”

Hallelujah, someone finally understood you. “Exactly! That's why I haven't said anything to anybody. Everyone's in such a good place, why would I want to ruin that?”

“ _Exactly_.” Eren scooted so your knees were touching and clasped your right hand in his. “Hey. Promise me if you ever need to talk next year, you'll call or text or Skype or something? It fucking sucked not having someone to talk to about this stuff and I'd hate it if you went through the same thing.”

Why weren't you closer with this guy? “Okay,” you agreed. “I'll definitely hold you to that.”

He dropped your hand and pinched your chin, forcing you to look him directly in the eye. The sudden intensity and close proximity of his face kind of frightened you. “No, promise me, [First]. Actually say it.”

It was rather difficult to find words, even a word he provided for you, when his breath was in your face. “Promise.”

There was a hint of a smile. “Thank you.”

You returned the gestured. “I should be thanking _you_.”

That was when he leaned forward.

Eren Jeager was kissing you. Your head was screaming to stop him, punch him in the crotch, push him away _right fucking now_ , but every other part of you wanted you to pull him closer, breathe in his scent, kiss him _more_ _more more_. It took less than nanosecond for you to think _screw it_ and throw an arm around his neck because it felt awesome to be this close to someone. For such a rough and callous guy, his lips were astonishingly soft. And his hands; you'd seen him get into fights on more than one occasion over the years and he threw his fair share of painful-looking punches, but now, those hands that were usually coiled in anger were gently caressing your cheeks with a tenderness you never fathomed he was capable of. Then there was his scent; an odd mixture of bleach, Old Spice, and Juicy Fruit that actually made perfect sense if you took in into account that this was Eren here. And his hair, oh freckled Jesus, his hair. You've had the pleasure of ruffling his hair before -- everyone messed with his mop on a daily basis when he grew it out for a short while a couple years back – but nothing on this planet felt as satisfying as your fingers running through his hair again and again and again. Did he change conditioner between sophomore and senior year? That had to be the reason behind why it felt so good.

Eren was the one who initiated the kiss and he was also the one to end it, very abruptly, and much to your displeasure, not that you showed it. He yanked himself back a couple inches to gawk. His bright green oculars locked onto yours, a look of horror on his features. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath. “Shit, shit, shit.”

You mirrored his expression as the reality of the situation fell on you. “What?”

“We--we just kissed.”

You shook your head numbly. “N-no. _Y-you_ kissed _me_ ,Eren.”

Despite the how irritated he looked, his hands continued to be a deliberately light presence on your face. “Don't pull that shit. You kissed back and you know it, [First].”

“Okay, fine. I kissed back, but--but _you_ still kissed me first.” And then your hands dropped from his neck to your sides. “Why _did_ you kiss me, Eren?”

“I-I don't know.” His brow furrowed and his hands fell away, too. “Wait, does this mean we're--?”

“I don't know,” you said, too, your hands covering your mouth. “Do you want us to be--?”

“I don't know,” he said again. “Do _you_ want us to be--?”

“ _I don't know_ ,” you repeated. “Stop asking. I really don't fucking know right now.”

Eren glowered. “Goddammit, this is getting us absolutely nowhere. What are we supposed to do?”

“Once again, I don't fucking know, Jaeger, but I know what I'm going to do.” You hopped down from the railing and picked up your shoes. “I'm going to go back inside and pretend this never happened. We were never on the porch together. We didn't speak one word to each other. And most importantly, we did not just cry in front of one another.” You held your hands up. “Talk to you later. I'm out.”

“Wait, [First].”

“What?” That was supposed to sound exasperated, but it came out panicked and terrified. Way to go.

He slid off the railing and rubbed the top of his head, ruffling his hair even more than it already was. Man, you wished you could run your fingers through those heavenly locks again. _No_. Snap out it. Focus. “So … prom …” he prompted.

You cocked an eyebrow, suspicious. That was a random subject change. “What about it?”

And he was back to avoiding eye contact. “Need a date?”

You crossed your arms. “Don't you think you're a tad bit late for that?”

A nervous laugh tumbled out of his mouth. “Um, I think I'm a tad early, actually.”

“What? That doesn't even make any--” Oh. _Oh_. Your shoes hit the floor with a loud _bang_. “You're asking me to _next year's_ prom.” It was not a question.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged, Shrugged like it was nothing. “Why not?”

You were staring at him like he'd grown into a huge, titanic monster. “Why not?” It's official; Eren had completely lost his sanity. “Oh my God, because you won't live in town anymore. Because you'll be a college student. Because you'll probably have finals around the same time our school has prom. Because who in their right mind would want to come back this stupid town? Because, Eren, why would you want to come back and for _prom_ of all things? Prom with _me_? Prom isn't even that big a deal. And we're not even that close, or have you not noticed?”

And he was frowning. “I noticed, but it always bothered me. Why is that?”

You threw your hands up. “No idea, Eren.”

“But we're close now, aren't we? We just kissed.” He was grinning that goofy grin of his again, maybe even blushing a little, too. “It was a pretty damn good kiss. One of the best I've ever had, if not _the best_. Not to mention we just cried our eyes out in front of each other. If that's not what close friends do, than I don't know what. _Plus_ , with us talking, texting, and Skyping all next year, that was bound to make us closer, too.”

“You know what--” And you stopped yourself. “I just--” And you stopped again. “Jaeger, you are _so_ \--” And again. “What even--” And again. “Eren--” And again. “My fucking God--” And again. Until you dropped your chin to your chest in defeat and muttered out a single syllable. “Fine.”

“Wait, really?” Instead of sounding happy or pleased, he sounded confused.

That caused you to look up. “Yes. Really. What the hell were expecting me to say?”

The boy shrugged again, holding up his hands. “I'm not sure. I didn't really think about it before asking. I just asked.” He gestured to the door. “Should we go back inside now?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay then.” Eren bent down, picked up your shoes, and held them out to you. “Don't want to forget these.”

“Thanks.” And because he'd been messing with your head all night, it was your turn. You accepted your heels and shot up to your toes to give him a quick peck on the cheek. Hey, you weren't even sure what to make of this relationship at the moment. Then your free hand found one of his and meshed them together so you were palm to palm. “Well, tonight was … unexpected.”

“In a good way?” he prompted.

“In an awesome way,” you said without hesitation. “Thanks for helping with that.”

He squeezed your hand. “It was nothing.”

**Author's Note:**

> The second you and Eren walk in, all hell broke loose. 
> 
> Bertholdt's hand may have been broken because he was arm-wrestling Annie and kind of forgot when you walked in. She didn't give a damn so she took her shot and slammed his hand down for the win. Ymir jumped to her feet, holding out her hands like _pay up bitches. I called that shit._ Connie, Reiner, and Jean moan and groan while pulling out their wallets, yet Connie and Reiner don't really care. It was cool with them if you dated Eren; they were just mad they lost money. Jean wouldn't shut up, still griping and saying _c'mon. you had one job, to resist that asshole, but of course you can't even do that right._ But deep down, he was happy if you were happy. Sasha did a spit take when she saw the two of you holding hands (which caused Eren to squeeze your hand a bit too hard because that was something he'd have to clean up before Levi came home). Marco and Christa were the first to actually approach the new couple and start to gush about how cute you'd be together, which freaked you the fuck out because you hadn't actually established whether you were a couple, but Marco and Christa were so sincere and adorable about it, you didn't stop them. 
> 
> The only ones not making a fuss of some sort were Armin and Mikasa, who remained on the couch. They were both smiling fondly at their best friend who looked happier than he had in a long time. He wa practically beaming, despite the red-rimmed eyes, but it looked like you were just what he needed to help deal with his fears and anxiety. (Oh, they knew, but didn't want to push him because they knew how he could be) But also they're thinking _our baby Eren is growing up._
> 
> _And then_ when Levi found out in the morning (because everyone just crashed all over the living room, so there were cuddle piles, but what singled you out was Eren's tight grip on you) he woke the poor boy and dragged him into the kitchen. Eren was panicking because _crap, did i miss a mess?_ but Levi just gave him a stern talking to about how much he'd grown up and was becoming a man and _just don't fuck this up, you stupid brat._ Eren was kind of confused, but then Levi rolled his eyes and shoved him back into the living room.
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> Thanks for reading (: I hope you enjoyed it!


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